Mar 4Save3/4/21All the Single (Rich) Ladies Are Buying Houses, So Yay Feminism, I GuessEmily Alford7Since the beginning of feminism, one of the movement’s main goals has obviously been to normalize wealthy women…
Mar 4Save3/4/21New York Times Columnist David Brooks and Facebook Are a Match Made in HellEmily Alford18When I think of New York Times opinionist David Brooks—which is, happily, almost never—I remember him as the guy…
Mar 423/4/21I Am Truly Not Embarrassed By My Snatch But Now Does Not Seem Like a Great Time to CelebrateEmily Alford23As a child of the 1990s whose pussy braved the low-rise of early aughts jeans with nary a wisp of protective hair…
Mar 3Save3/3/21Weird How a Generation Without Houses, Health Insurance, or Money Also Does Not Want BabiesEmily Alford126For about 15 years now, things sure have been shitty: the housing market collapse, followed by the entirety of the…
Mar 3Save3/3/21Local Man Refuses to Let Allegations of Bad Behavior in the Past Keep Him From Doing a Bad Job in the PresentEmily Alford11Though New York Governor Andrew Cuomo says he has learned his lesson following a recent spate of sexual harassment…
Mar 333/3/21While the Windsors Investigate Meghan Markle's Rudeness, Perhaps They Could Look Into Prince Andrew's Alleged PedophiliaEmily Alford136As the highly anticipated Oprah interview of the newly-American Windsor faction draws nigh, the remaining English…
Mar 2Save3/2/21Let the Journalist Who Hasn't Interviewed a Fake Cory Booker On Air Cast the First StoneEmily Alford12As a journalist, it often falls to me to call someone who knows about a subject, ask them to give me their opinions…
Music3/1/21Mar 1SaveMusic3/1/21MusicThe Women's History Month Anthem Is Bing Bang BongJoan Summers and Emily Alford2The Bing Bang Bong is going around this Women’s History Month. Have you caught it yet?
'90s Week2/26/21Feb 265'90s Week2/26/21'90s WeekDeclassifying the Mystery of How Special Agent Dana Scully Looked So Good in Those Giant SuitsEmily Alford37The X-Files premiered in 1993, gifting America with our first glimpse of a 25-year-old Gillian Anderson playing…
'90s Week2/26/21Feb 262'90s Week2/26/21'90s WeekSarah McLachlan's Surfacing: A Blueprint for Navigating Millennial GirlhoodEmily Alford27When I was a very little girl, my first love was just the entire concept of older girls. They weren’t crushes…
Feb 25Save2/25/21Australian Pickup Artist Birds Allegedly Resorting to Gaslighting for HookupsEmily Alford6As I have long-touted on this very blog, birds are terrible and they should all be canceled. But perhaps none more…
Feb 25Save2/25/21Canadians Are Rightly (and Politely) Outraged Over Their Crappy Pandemic ButterEmily Alford57There are just three things I love in this life and, ranked in order of my love, they are butter, mysteries, and…
Big Time Small-Time Dicks2/24/21Feb 241Big Time Small-Time Dicks2/24/21Big Time Small-Time DicksUtah State Senator Will Not Be Bullied By Constituents Into Reading the Bill He SponsoredEmily Alford37It’s always truly distressing to see constituents attempt to bully public servants into public servitude with…
Feb 24Save2/24/21Congratulations to America, Which Is Now Gayer Than EverEmily Alford5Not a ton of good stuff is happening in the U.S. right now, with a truly staggering number covid deaths, vaccine…
Feb 24Save2/24/21Contrary to Gwyneth Paltrow's Resounding Endorsement, Covid-19 Cannot Be Treated With KombuchaEmily Alford35How lovely it must be to provide medical advice to Gwyneth Paltrow. All that is required, I’m assuming, is a white…
'90s Week2/24/21Feb 244'90s Week2/24/21'90s WeekAmy Fisher and the 1990s Invention of the Criminal LolitaEmily Alford74In 1996, when an 18-year-old Fiona Apple was wrapping up work on her seminal debut album, Tidal, executives from…
Feb 23Save2/23/21Capitol Cops Blame Pentagon for the Insurrection, In What Will Surely Be a Yearslong BeefEmily Alford11It hasn’t been terribly long since the Senate heard evidence that the rioters at the January 6 insurrection breeched…
Television2/22/21Feb 22SaveTelevision2/22/21TelevisionYour Childhood Crush Gillian Anderson Is All Set to Play Your Women's Studies Class Crush Eleanor RooseveltEmily Alford19Like any person with eyes, ears, and proper ventricular function, I have been in love with Gillian Anderson since…
Television2/22/21Feb 221Television2/22/21TelevisionRuPaul's Drag Race Needs to Stop Relying On Those Musical NumbersEmily Alford14Be it an overabundance of grey wigs or a contestant who seems to have brought nothing but a suitcase full of…
Feb 19Save2/19/21Work Sucks, But Make Sure the Zoom Call Is Private Before Saying How Much It SucksEmily Alford24Despite not having children, I have gathered that the overwhelming sentiment around education in corona-times is…