Illustration for article titled This 2007 Newsstand Photo Is an Archive of a Tabloid Moment
Image: AP

Let’s take a quick peek at yesterday’s news, shall we? Specifically, this batch of celebrity magazines from Wednesday, October 24, 2007, which—by some horrifying circumstance—was almost a full 13 years ago.

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Celebrity news was a completely different business. Instagram hadn’t been invented; there was no ecosystem for famous people to perform charming relatability. Influencers were years off, and Keeping Up With the Kardashians had premiered just 10 days before. This website was just a few months old. Might as well be a different media universe! I spy:

  • A baby Suri Cruise, who is now 14 years old.
  • “Angelina’s LIES!” and a grim-looking Jennifer Aniston, instantly carbon-dating this as part of the Brangelina/supercouple era of tabloid culture
  • Half a cover shrieking about CELLULITE!
  • pre-McConaissance Matthew McConaughey, who was between Failure to Launch and Fool’s Gold
  • Four separate brunette Britneys
  • One tiny Julia Roberts

A proper time capsule!

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Senior Editor, Attic Haunter, Jezebel

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