Who's Ready for This Horny Mae West Documentary?

A PBS documentary on Mae West—national treasure, fur stole icon—will be released on June 16, which is not a moment too soon. If hours of footage of Ms. West spitting bawdy one-liners like “A hard man is good to find” isn’t a balm for our grubby, unshowered souls, what is?

Among the stars who appear in the film are Natasha Lyonne, Candace Bergen, Ringo Star, Dita von Teese, who refers to West, correctly, as a “sexual gangster.”

“Mae West was a pioneer for all those women who dare to be sexy: Cher, Madonna, Rihanna, Beyoncé,’ adds André Leon Talley.

Over the course of her long career, West was a vaudeville dancer, actress, singer, playwright, screenwriter and comedian who both served jail time for “corrupting the morals of youth” and became the highest paid actress in America.

Bette Midler, the documentary’s executive producer, told People that her primary interaction with West was pissing her off:

“I used to sing a Mae West song when I first started working solo. I actually did not know she was still alive; there was no internet…She sent me a cease-and-desist letter telling me to stop imitating her,” she recalls. “Of course I did, and I still have the letter! But truly, there will never be anyone like her. Her diamonds and feathers, her strict adherence to the clothes of the 1890s…were all part of the package. How could you not love her? She believed in her creation, and she lived it every day of her life. Now, that’s commitment!”

In anticipation of the documentary, here are a handful of the best Mae West lines out there, though I compel you to spend the rest of the night reading through the others:

“Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.”

“When I’m good, I’m very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better.”

“Getting married is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.”

“The curve is more powerful than the sword.”

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”

“I’ve been in more laps than a napkin.”

“Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often.”

Honestly, I think this woman’s quotes are better than sex itself.